THREE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS...WOMEN.

Okay so it has been awhile since I posted anything there really hasn't been much to talk about. This week has been a little rough for me, for obvious reasons. But I've been sort of under the radar with everyone and everything. So I just barely read Kirst's and Courte's blogs (that were posted a few days ago) and even though all I have done this week is cry I still had some cry in me. My girls are the best, all three of them. I have no idea what I did to deserve any of them but I got the three best girls in the world. Yeah they can be selfish and thoughtless at times but I know that they don't mean to hurt anyone. That is just part of being a teenage girl. Times like that were rare at our house and I am thankful for that. They are two of the most loving, caring women now. Really how many teenagers would spend every single weekend at the hospital with their little sister while she was getting a blood transfusion, not just that, but she was asleep a majority of the time she probably wouldn't have noticed if they were there or not, but they were always there...

I am so glad they understand the importance of family and good friends.

I have a hard time expressing how I feel about them most of the time, but a mom couldn't be proud of these three.

Kirsten, my little analytical, is always so determined, there are only a few things in this world that she wanted and didn't get. She works so hard for everything...

Courteney, my little free spirit, I used to worry about Courte but not anymore she found her way and is making such good choices. I am very proud of her and glad she is growing up...

Spenser, my little angel, she is so brave and strong and always said what was on her mind. She touched so many people in her ten years...

The last 24 years or so have been amazing and I wouldn't trade my life with anyone. I am very pleased to have been apart of each and every moment in these three lives. I love them all very much.

LIFE CHANGES

Okay in about 10 hours it will be exactly 8 years ago that my life changed as I had come to take advantage of, one day you are there doing your thing and suddenly the carpet gets pulled out from underneath you and it changes your life and puts you on a whole new course. Eight years ago on October 17, 2000 approx. 2:30 a.m. Spenser was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia. That was the first day of life, out of control. Because of course I thought I HAD control, my first mistake.

The next year and a half were to say the least an interesting learning experience. To say the worst, a living hell. I don't mean to sound selfish, but between regular scheduled office visits to Primary Children's Hospital, emergency visits to Logan and Primary hospitals, helicopter, ambulance and driving as fast as I could in the fog to the hospital. Constant worry that any germ could make Spenser sick, constant worry about blood counts, drawing blood, becoming a pseudo nurse and still wondering if and how this is affecting the rest of the family attending football and basketball games. Parent teacher conferences, working, making sure bills were getting paid. Making sure the house was clean, the clothes were clean. Making sure Spenser was feeling as normal as she could. Hospital stays, attempts at immune suppression to restart her bone marrow, the chemo the radiation the hair falling out and her brushing it out to give as Christmas gifts. Christmas for the girls, birthdays, anniversaries, dancing, tryouts, homework, making the team, school, everyday girl stuff. The sores and worries of Spenser must have had (we were both trying to be brave for each other). The operations, the cultures, the ICU, insurance, the meds, these are just a few of the things that could really stress a person out, especially for someone who thought her life was in control.

At the same time, what an experience for my family, I mean really how many of you know a teenage girl that would spend her Saturday nights week after week with their baby sister in the hospital, because she was getting a emergency transfusion. Well I happen to know two of them, they are the most amazing girls anyone could ask for. Anyone would be lucky enough to have one but somehow I managed to get THREE wonderful and beautiful girls.

I have to say that my life isn't exactly where I thought it would be 10 years ago. But, and sometimes I feel really guilty about thinking it is good. I really don't have to many complaints, I mean really everybody has LIFE happen to them, overall my life is pretty damn good. I never expected to be happy again, I really thought my life was over when Spenser passed away I at times thought that I wouldn't be able to go on. It isn't natural to have children pass away before you do. But I still had Kirsten and Courteney, Todd and even myself to take care of, we were still trying to cope with such a loss.

I have to say that not a day goes by that I don't think of something Spenser would have said or done. She is still a big part of my life. I miss her, so much sometimes it hurts. But I now know that she isn't hurting anymore.

Who would have thought that both Todd and I would be working at Harris and not only that working right next to each other, riding together almost everyday (thanks to gas being so high). Sometimes the drive, well I am not going to lie is just to much for either of us to handle. Luckily at night we both have separate floors to be on.
So basically the moral of this long story is - even though it isn't how I thought my life would be, and I miss Spenser so much...it still is a good life and I am thankful.

BITTERSWEET WEEKEND

Kirsten and Tanner did it, they moved to Virginia. I'm not going to lie I am Happy and Sad about the situation. Mostly Happy because they are moving on with their lives, but sad because it is so far away. I will hardly get to see them in person anymore. But I can't wait to see what they do next.

Kirst with Baxter and Jack last evening in Lewiston.

on the way to the airport

Yea!!! Courte, haven't seen YOU in months.

FedEx Field

Cooooley, #47

Redskins vs. Bills

Aren't we just the cutest little Cole family of girls.

Chris' '69 Camaro SS, was a blast to drive. Better if there weren't so many damn corners to turn between Chris' and Nancy's house. I need open road to punch it and maybe better aiming lights for the ride home, luckily it was Sunday.

Courte again!! Tanner the Pedophile

Kirsten just moments before a cop pulled her over because her tint was to dark in the state of Utah. Hello, we aren't in Utah!
Me and Baxter, he is so sad he already misses me.

That Famous Preston Night Rodeo

Okay this last weekend was a full weekend to say the least...The last time I blogged was on Friday when Kirsten had her last day at USU. Well that evening we had sushi for dinner at Kazoku in Smithfield it was delish, plus we learned that Kazoku means Family in Japanese.

Well then on Saturday I saved up all my calories for "Fair Food" I love it. By the time Todd and I made it up to it was nine o'clock and I was ready for a good greasy carni handled corn dog. It was fabulous, I couldn't have asked for a better appetizer or a better view of the greatest mullet since 1986.

After that we moved on to the funnel cakes another amazing "Fair Food" you can't pass up. I thought we had spaced the timing of eating pretty well. But it left me still a little hungry and now I wanted fries, but the fries there were not that great looking. So we left, but not before seeing....

Now what bride to be wouldn't want their bridals taken at the carnival. I just don't know.

Now time for fries and a Dr. Pepper, screw the eating right. I am an adult I am accountable for everything I eat. (and it shows). Now we're off, time to go home. Ahh, but not before stopping and seeing Todd's mom. And where do you find his mom in Preston, at home you say, nay, at a bar, of course. So we check out the closest one The Owl and tahdah magically she was there. So we go in to talk to her and invite her to Kirsten and Tanner's little shindig we are having on Sunday. She of course is way past "half in the bag" and has to introduce us to everyone she sees and most of everyone has no idea that she even has kids. I just want to go but before that can happen I hear a man announce. "Qwayne is up, it is his turn and he will be singing, KISS' Doctor Love". This just topped off the evening, as he walked up to sing he pulled out his shades and put them on soooo cool and seductive. (People were watching) And then he began to sing. OMG I thought I would die laughing it was so funny. But we couldn't laugh at least not out loud, Todd is asking me where my camera was, I'd left it in the car dang it. But the image of Todd's mom's clampet boyfriend is burned on my brain. And it isn't just the singing, oh no, the dancing too. Mostly pelvic thrusting and Todd's mom was so proud she has been wanting us to see him sing for years. (I am still shuddering). That has to be the best Preston Night I have ever had. Everywhere we looked a gahut or a clampet.

Sunday, we had a little going away for K and T, here are a few pics from that day. Nicky was even in town. It was nice.

Traci, Sutton and Nilda

Grandpa and Whitney

Danny

Nicole and Michelle

Proud Moment

One of my babies finished her Master's today!!!! I don't think I have ever been more proud of her as I am at this moment. I am thrilled that she has this drive in her, SHE IS AMAZING! I have always thought that if Kirsten wanted to do something she would do it. And she has.

I tell my kids all the time that they are "All grown up" I can't believe it is really happening, she is all grown up. Right now I am so giddy I can hardly stand it. I went around the office telling everyone, nobody thinks it is really that exciting, just me and Todd. WHO CARES. I think that it is one of the greatest things ever.

CONGRATULATIONS KIRSTEN!!

USU Ladies Football Clinic

This was the biggest waste of time for me and Kirsten. But don't we look cute.

This was pic was taken moments before my daughter knocked me on my ass, not only on my ass but to where my head was bouncing off the ground! This is the only part of this little episode I can remember. I don't remember her running toward me or hitting the pad. The only thing I remember is that my feet were slowing coming up from underneath me and I was thinking, "I am about to fall, if I don't get my feet back under me. Too LATE!" Bamm, bounce, bounce. I was a little shaken and I have to admit a little embarrassed. Luckily for me I tend to trip, fall and run into walls, chairs, desks and such that I am used to being a little embarrassed. So we went on, in the meantime everyone notice all the coaches and of course all the other ladies and of course congratulated Kirsten on her nice hit. I am so glad that I can make her look good. Usually it is the other way around.

The reason it was a waste of time is because instead of learning the rules and the calls and when they call them, USU coaching staff in their infinite wisdom decided it would be funny to see a bunch of ladies TRYING to hike, catch, throw, tackle, run, backwards, forwards, side to side. They are awkward positions and shouldn't be done outside of your own home. But I guess if you can make a living, looking silly to the outsider, who cares, I have to admit I am pretty sure they were getting a kick out of watching. I hope the have it on tape to show the team later this season when they lose all their games and need a little pick me up.

Empy Nest...

This week has been filled with so many memories of Spenser, I can hardly believe it has been over five years since she was here. I think of her daily, but these last few days have been intense. Todd and I went to the cemetary on Sunday, I don't think we've ever been together except on Memorial day. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day, the sky was clear and it was sunny and warm. It reminded me of when I was kid and I would twirl around and lay down and the world would just spin. Wow, to be a young again. I think that is how Spenser spends all her days now. I miss her so much but I think I really understand that she is so very happy now. I know that this is what God had planned for her and for us. That even though it is very hard sometimes, this is why were are here. I want everyone in my life to know how much I love and appreciated them and even though I am not good at saying it. I do love my family very much. I miss Courte so much right now and I am becoming uneasy about Kirsten and Tanner moving so far away. Someone just asked me, "How long they were going to be gone". I said forever... and even though I will be seeing her on holidays and probably talking to her on a daily basis I know that I will be missing her too. It so hard to see you children grow up and move on but that is exactly what they are supposed to do. And hopefully if you do you job right they grow up to be happy and productive people. I think Todd and I have done our part, now it is their turn. So far so good. I look forward to what happens next..

Just Starting...

So we started this today because I thought it would be a good way to show our friends and family the things we are doing. So where to begin?

A little about the two of us...
Todd and I are high school sweethearts. I really hate that phrase, but what are you going to do. It is what it is.

We were married January 1985.
We have three beautiful daughters - Kirsten, Courteney and Spenser.
All three are fabulous and doing very well.

We are basically empty nesters now, I love it, it is the greatest thing next to having kids. We have the benefit of kids but they don't stay around all the time and the best thing ever is that I don't have to pay for everything anymore. (just some things)

This is us on our way to Memphis, I will write more about this later.

Kirsten is finishing her Masters in Accounting and will be starting her new job in the fall. She and her husband Tanner will soon be moving away and I can wait for that to happen. We will miss them so much.

Courteney will be starting her third year of college and doing well. She moved to Kentucky for the summer with her friend Ty. She seems to be having a good time and enjoying being away for awhile.

Spenser, well she passed away a little over five years ago, she is still a part of our lives and we think of her everyday.

She is our little angel.